It has been almost two years since I last posted anything, and life certainly is different for us.

As I’m writing this on my phone, I’m sitting on the floor next to my youngest waiting on her to come to after her most recent seizure.  It’s her sixth one since last April.  The neurologist doesn’t have any answers as to why she has them. She’s had an EEG, EKG, MRI, as well lots of blood work. All of those test have come back perfect. The only answers we have are: her brain looks normal and she doesn’t have epilepsy. They believe the seizures are from her brain misfiring during development and hopefully she’ll outgrow them in two to three years by the time she’s fifteen.  Every time I meet with the neurologist the timeline keeps getting pushed back. For now she’s on seizure meds, I have the pleasure of recording every seizure on my phone so the doctor’s can watch them later, and all we can do is stay attentive and pray she “outgrows” them soon.

My middle kid started out in Kindergarten this past September; a month later and he was back in Pre-K. 
We’ve always known he had an aversion to loud sounds, and had some emotional control issues.  In December he was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD).  Learning about SPD has been eye opening and helped us understand how and why he behaves the way he does.  We are in the early days of figuring out how to help him manage the world around him without having multiple meltdowns a day. There’s so much more to learn, and I’ll have to get back to you on how it goes.

A part of me wishes I had a magic wand and could make my children “normal.” While it may make life a lot easier, it would take away those things that make my children who they are.  Instead I will offer up my frustration, anxieties, and fears.  And hopefully, I’ll become a better person in the end.

Now that all of the children are tucked into bed, I think I’m going to have a stiff drink and call it a night.

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