I Miss You

…and I always will.

 

Jamie,

Happy birthday!!  Today you would have been 33, but sadly you aren’t here.  I miss you so much and I wish you could be here; that you could meet my husband and my kids (did you know I almost named my daughter after you?).  And most importantly I wish you could be here for your family.  If I miss you as much as I do, I can only imagine how much they miss you.

There is so much I want to say.  So much I’ve already said to you.  I still mourn.  I think this hole inside of me will never heal and that I will always mourn.  I love you and always will.  You were the best friend this girl could have ever asked for.

And yet, I’m so happy you aren’t in this crazy mixed up world.  My hope and my prayer is that you are in heaven and that when my time here in crazy-upside-down-land is over, that I’ll get to see your beautiful face and hear your amazing voice again.

(Skipped to 2:20 if you don’t want to hear her cover of Peter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes.”  But you wouldn’t do that because Plumb has such an amazing voice and she does a great job of covering one of my favourite songs.)

 

 

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13 Days Post Operation

Two days ago I noticed that I posted an entry here about my operation.  Funny, I don’t recall writing that.  Let’s just say the pain meds the doctor had me on were super strong and I don’t remember much of that first week.

I’m only using my crutches when I’m out and about to help stabilize and prevent me from toppling over if my leg decides it no longer wants to hold my weight.  I am getting around okay even though I feel as if I must look like Igor when I’m not using my crutches.

igor-hunchback

As for the meds, I’m no long taking the oxycodone/percocets that the doctor prescribed.  I’m solely on Ibuprofen, Tylenol, and a daily aspirin.  I’m glad to not be on the narcotics anymore. I’m no longer falling asleep at the drop of a hat and I can actually remember what is going on around me.

My adventures in physical therapy will begin on Wednesday.  Here’s to hoping that I can be as good as new (if not better) by the end of summer.

Quick Entry & Update

No, I haven’t dropped off the blogosphere.  Let’s see…since coming completely off the Zoloft I’ve been feeling so much better.  However, I still have the very occasional head swoosh.

That being said, I had arthroscopic knee surgery yesterday. They went in to get my knee cap to start gliding in the notch God intended it to and not sit and grind on the bone it had been. They accomplished this by performing a lateral release; they also cleaned up any worn and torn cartilage.

So now I’m bed bound for another day.  Which is probably a good thing because the meds they gave me for the pain are making me wonder if I am secretly suffering from narcolepsy.  With that said, during my waking hours I hope to be able to type up the entry I wrote this morning, finish up the entry on our Blessed Mother, as well as another one that I’m almost finished with.

*YAWN*  Back to sleep and then to work on posting the rest.

 

We adore you O’ Christ and we praise you. Because by Your holy cross You have redeemed the world.

Operation Stop Zoloft: Week 5

Last week went very well.  I took my last pill on Friday night, which means that today is the last day that the Zoloft will be in my system.  Even though I am through taking it now, that doesn’t mean that the effects of it will be completely over.  I was on it for three long years and it’s going to take a bit of time for my brain to recover and get used to being fully functional on its own again.  I’m still feeling woozy, I’m very emotional, and I’ve had several headaches.  I’m doing the only thing I can do right now… Taking it one day at a time.

Unfortunately I’ve had emotional outburst for reasons that most people probably wouldn’t bat an eye at.  If you’ve had to witness any of these or been the brunt of one of them, I’m sorry.  There’s not a lot I can do about them. I’m doing the best that I can.  And that folks is all that anyone can do.

 

“I do the very best I know how – the very best I can; and I mean to keep doing so until the end.”  –Abraham Lincoln