Feeling like a Mental Zombie

For the past several months (and possibly the past year) I have felt like an emotionless zombie.  The best word to describe the way I have been feeling is:

 

meh_cat

 

Yeah. That pretty much sums it up.  The only other emotion I can recall having with some sort of frequency is frustration which usually leads me to anger.  Sure, I’ve had a few happy and exciting moments, but it’s really difficult for me to enjoy them due to the huge cloud of meh that is weighing down on me.

I’ve been on Zoloft since Owen was born, and it’s definitely time to get off the stuff. Not only do I want to feel like myself there are two other factors for me coming off this mind numbing med.

  1.  The weight gain has been ridiculous.  Owen is three and I’ve yet to loose any of the baby weight. I’m still sitting large at approx. 195 lbs. I’ve exercised, cut back on my eating, and yet the weight just sits there.
  2. The horrible birth defects that are possible while taking Zoloft while preggers.  No, I’m not pregnant, but one day I might be.  And I don’t want my child to run a higher risk of having a disability because I was on some mind numbing medication.  If I were to get pregnant now and my child were to have some sort of health issue because of it I would probably beat my self up everyday for the rest of my life.

With that said, I’ve been thinking about this for a long while now and I’m going to start weaning myself off of this stuff.  I’m not looking forward to the side effects of coming off the meds.  I went off them once after Owen was 3 months old, but had to get back on them a few months later at a higher dosage.  *le sigh*  Next week I’ll be making an appointment with my doctor and talking with him about a plan to taper down the meds with hopefully the fewest amount of withdrawal symptoms I can muster.

Please pray for me while I go through this.  This site has been helpful for me to start coming up with a plan to taper off Zoloft.  If you scroll down towards the bottom (after all of the side effects from taking the meds) you’ll see the withdrawal side effects.

Good Saint Dymphna, great wonder-worker in every affliction of mind and body, I humbly implore your powerful intercession with Jesus through Mary, the Health of the Sick, in my present need. Please ask that my tapering off Zoloft will go well with as few withdrawal symptoms as possible. Saint Dymphna, martyr of purity, patroness of those who suffer with nervous and mental afflictions, beloved child of Jesus and Mary, pray to Them for me and obtain my request.

Our Father, who is in Heaven
Holy is your name.
Your kingdom come, Your will be done.
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our Daily Bread
And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who’ve trespassed against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but delivers us from evil.  Amen.

 

Hail Mary, Full of Grace
The Lord is with you.
Blessed are you among women,
and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God
Pray for us sinners,
Now and at the hour of our death.  Amen.

 

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be
World without end.  Amen.

 

Saint Dymphna, Virgin and Martyr, pray for us.

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I feel as if

I am writing a term paper.  I’m working on an entry entitled, “There’s Something About Mary.”  I know the title isn’t very original, and has most likely been bandied about the Catholic blogosphere, and I don’t care.  There are so many things that I could write about our Blessed Mother, that they cannot be contained in one blog entry, or a single book for that matter. The main focus of what I’m working on are the two key things that I’ve heard from my protestant friends that bothers them the most about our devotion to Mary.

I’m doing my best to make this an excellent entry, and so it is going to take a bit of time to complete. Please bear with me while I’m busy hashing out this term paper.  =)